January 25

Aries (March 21-April 19): People are putting down your newest invention. They're saying a cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): You're getting tired of sleeping.

Gemini (May 21-June 21): You want to improve your body language but can't put your finger on it.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): You'll get a call from a pollster and answer questions about subjects you know nothing about. You will be among the 53% who said what sounded good. Another 28% repeated an opinion heard elsewhere. And 19% just made up something to sound intellectual. Tonight you'll see the poll on the news and wonder what you were thinking.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): If you have sticky buns, you shouldn't put your pants on.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): While watching TV, it will occur to you that "Grey's Anatomy" has many humerus remarks.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Grab your sippy cup and boggie.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When you see your first strands of grey hair, you'll dye.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don't let those compliments about your hair go to your head.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your attempt to run a flea circus is ruined by a dog who steals the show.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Some people are passengers in life; you're a hitchhiker.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

If today is your birthday: You're not a kid anymore if you paint your apartment walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.